Sunday, May 13, 2012
A Funny Ole Week.....
This week my boy treated me to a couple of his now legendary witticisms... Or should that be wiiboy-isims? He certainly has a history of making me laugh, that's for sure.
The first words of wisdom my boy imparted to me were delivered as we enjoyed a meal out. His words of wisdom are best served in public you see and in a very loud voice too. All the more to embarrass his mother.
While sipping my glass of wine I was given some helpful advice by my very sage 12 year old:
'Drink sensibly' says he, repeating oft heard advice from that very familiar TV ad......... 'Don't spill it' ... he then cleverly quipped!
My ensuing guffaws were his cue to continue this impromptu performance and he got braver with his next witty sharing.
Next up was the band 'One Direction' who have been renamed or re-branded even, by my verbally stimulated boy . Oh dear.... how do I say this and not get into a bind? Well , the word 'Direction' was changed to a very similar word that doesn't begin with 'Dir'. It begins with an 'e' followed swiftly by an r. And rises from there, so to speak!
And it didn't end there, oh no, before I could get my admonishment in he continued with ..... 'and it's One E**ction cos they're not manly enough.... They have to share'
I nearly spluttered my wine everywhere.... so much for not spilling it! Once I composed myself I stifled my threatening spluttered laughter, put a cross look on my face and issued him with a stern rebuke. End of impromptu performance.
Oh, dear Lord what am I to do with him? And you're not safe either, you'd better lock up your daughters. On other occasions he sidles up to me, leans lazily against any available wall or object, winks at me and says such things as 'hey, you and me girl...how about it?'
He is so funny though and it's a natural and sometimes very clever humour as he plays around with words. I just have to cull the inappropriateness.
My humour can be more by accident than anything else, especially when I facetweet while multi-tasking around the house. Housework can be so boring though. I have to somehow spruce it up and have some fun. Right?
Well, this week I did just that and Dizzy Jazzy here had one of her classic moments when a little, harmless facetweet went horribly wrong....
See, I had done some home cooking which is not like this suburban Desperate Housewife and I wanted to redeem myself. I went for clever-funny and my tweet, which was also shared on facebook, was supposed to say:
'Homemade chicken soup followed by homemade cookies..... who re-wired me while I slept?'
I pressed 'send' without double checking and went about my work. When I returned after some time I knew something had gone wrong by the tweets I got.
In my defence my dilapidated laptop cannot keep up with my tippy tappy fingers and some buttons don't always 'take'. It's not that I'm fast, my laptop is slow! Anyway this time my laptop left out one very important space. Never in the history of mankind has one 'space' meant so much to so many!!
My innocent tweet actually read as:
'Homemade chicken soup followed by homemade cookies..... whore-wired me while I slept?'
Oh.... my.....GOD!! Whore-wired??
I nearly had a heart attack!! All I could think was....DELETE...DELETE...DELETE...QUICK..
I was mortified! When will I ever learn?
But then I thought....it IS funny and we all need a good laugh, right?
Everyone seemed to get a giggle out of it and when I calmed down I couldn't stop laughing!!All day long whenever it popped into my head I just burst out laughing!
So I decided to turn my little Dizzy Jazzy moment into a positive one and am laying claim to my new phrase. I've no doubt it's already in use but I wouldn't know these things ;-)
But what's the definition of whore-wired? What does it mean to be whore-wired?
Is whore-wired an attitude, a sense of being as you confidently sashay about..... or is it a hooker cooker??!
I've no idea. I'll leave it up to you to decide whenever you feel the need to use this phrase.
When you do maybe you'll think of me. Or the next time you do some home cooking you can think of this post and have a giggle. You can also dress appropriately...or inappropriately...as you see fit!!
As for me, I'll be double checking my face tweets from now on, and my texts!
Bon Appetit !!