Monday, October 31, 2011

The Halloween Domestic Goddess

'Twas the Halloween Bank Holiday weekend and a very busy one here at Chez Jazzy. There was lots to fit in around everyone's interests and activities and there was a birthday to celebrate....for someone who hates birthdays!

It is my belief that weekends should be a break for everyone in the family (you know what I'm sayin' here.... right?) and I'm finally finding subtle ways to achieve just that;-)

As birthday boy Mr Jazzy had a big golfing day on Friday with a meal out, WiiBoy and I treated ourselves to a takeaway! Saturday involved  more golf so myself and WiiBoy tagged along and spent 2 1/2 hours in the swimming pool (including some sauna/jacuzzi time for me!) while golf was played. We then all had lunch in the golf club, turning a golf day out into a family one;-) Sunday was the only golf-free day so we went for a family birthday meal to our favourite Indian restaurant that does a good early-bird deal.

Do you see what I've done here? Three whole days and no meals cooked!! Shush.... don't tell;-)

It's now Monday, Halloween and I'm feeling a bit guilty as my child hasn't eaten a home-cooked meal in a few days! I'm also feeling guilty as I haven't visited my mother in her nursing home all weekend either. I did try to remedy that today. We  may only be a one child family but we are also a one car one too so that does create difficulty sometimes. Heavy rain was forecast and I wanted to stay home to keep an eye on the  flooding situation so I came up with a genius plan.... get the nursing home to send her out to me in a taxi! Would have worked too, if only their damn phones were working. It's strange, they always seem to have a problem with phones on holidays.... 

Anyway, I have a confession to make..... I hate Halloween! I'm not creative at all with regards Halloween costumes or decorations and I most certainly don't make my own. I did reluctantly put up some decorations though...































 Pathetic I know, but I had to risk life and limb standing on a chair to get these up. No mean feat when you're as accident prone as me!

WiiBoy and I DID make a traditional pumpkin lantern....






 Okay....... slightly lop-sided and deformed I know, but hey, it's Halloween! Anything goes!!

Everyone always has these fab photos of lit pumpkin lanterns but no-one ever tells you that the lids burn from the inside!! Jeez... just as well I checked, or it could have been a case of escaping a flood only to get burnt out by a creepy, deformed pumpkin!

There were some leftovers after our lantern making so me, being in Domestic Goddess mode (or being Queen of Waste Not Want Not, perhaps?)  turned this...




into this.....


And my WiiBoy enjoyed the pumpkin soup SO much he asked for more, in true Oliver fashion! It was absolutely gorgeous, I must admit Ooh.... go me!

 But I wasn't finished. Oh no, not by a long shot!

Before I made the soup I made flapjacks as breakfast fodder for the faddy breakfast eater.....

































And  as I knew WiiBoy would  be off eating pizza with his Trick or Treating buddies before they went trick or treating, and subsequently stuffing themselves with crap,  I made a healthy lunch for him, to follow the gorgeous pumpkin soup. I made his very favourite lunch... Indian Pizza (or Quesadilla to you and I) which is packed full of vegetables. He loves it!




My guilt somewhat assuaged I sent him off trick or treating with his 4 pals. They had pizza in one house, did the rounds on 2 roads and have now  taken themselves and  their sugar-laden booty off to another house to watch a movie!

Last I heard it was turning into an impromptu sleepover!

My sugar-filled sleepy boy will return home tomorrow to a clean house as this Domestic Goddess finishes her Halloween chores, before the clock strikes 12 midnight and her lit pumpkin turns into rat or a frog or something and all mayhem resumes as normal. Sigh....

Note: Jazzy would like to assure her readers that no-one was hurt in the making of this blog-post, she hasn't been turned into a Stepford Wife and normal service WILL resume shortly.

xx







Saturday, October 29, 2011

Saved by the ..... Bins.


Oh Dear God.... not again - was the first thought that ran through my head when I opened my hall door at around 8.15pm, on Monday 24th October 2011 and looked down at where my neighbour was pointing. Rain water,  up to the step and flowing right around to the back of the house, threatening to make another dramatic entrance into our house and into our lives from both angles, just like last time. Not on my watch.

'Oh My God, we're flooding again' - I half screamed and cried simultaneously both into the phone, as I hung up on my friend, and at my husband who was busy in another room. I could feel my panic and my tears rising as fast as the murky floodwater gathering outside. Oh God... Oh God.. We can't go through this again..I thought, as memories of months of upheaval flooded back to me. You'll pardon the pun, I'm sure. However, I quickly pulled myself together as I gathered my thoughts, rolled up my sleeves and pulled on my wellies. This water will NOT invade our house, I silently  promised myself. Like I say..... NOT on my watch.

We knew how serious this situation was and exactly how little time we had before our homes would flood. The last time this happened, 16th August 2008 to be precise (yeah, that's right.. 'summer') we had about 10 minutes from the point of water being at the step to it flowing over the threshold. It was still pelting down out there and we had approximately 10 minutes to save our homes. 10 minutes.... and counting.

                Ths is from 2008 and is how big the flood would have been with another 10 minutes of rain

Now, we've not been complacent since the last flood, I'll have you know. We're always on floodwatch any time there's heavy rain and anyone who follows me on twitter and Facebook will attest to that fact by virtue of my tweets/updates. Last Sunday/Monday was no different. We watched that rain and the road outside for build up for two days running and all seemed well. I put my hands down our shores and pulled out soggy leaves and grimy gunk at 3pm on Monday. Mr Jazzy did the same on Sunday. All was fine the last time we checked, which was at 7.15pm as we returned home in the torrential downpour after collecting Mr Jazzy from the bus stop and our WiiBoy from trampolining class.  It was very heavy rain, apparently a month's rain fell in a 24 hour period in Dublin causing absolute mayhem everywhere. To us though, it was exactly the same as on 16th August 2008. We were assured by our local council after the last flood that the problem was fixed  and that it would never, ever happen again. After all,  we live on a cliff. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yup, we're approximately 20ft up over-looking the sea and not a river bank in sight. Ironic, huh?

So, as hubby and I quickly dressed for  flood battle,  which took all of two minutes,  we all tried to recall what it was we did last time and endeavoured to do it quicker this time. I spotted the two green and purple sentinels standing guard next door and remembered... 'WHEELIE BINS' I shouted out the door, struggling to get at my wellies ..... 'we used wheelie bins last time,' Well, eventually we did. This time we kicked straight in with them.  But first I moved our car to the nearest dry spot. You see, our driveway houses two shores, into which the sewerage and waste water flows from 6 houses.  Our neighbours  had recently unblocked them but best to keep clear... just in case.

Then I went for our wheelie bins, but as I couldn't push them from back to front garden against the pull of the flood water, I abandoned all social niceties and simply grabbed our neighbours two proud, guarding receptacles out front. I found another dry spot and unceremoniously dumped the contents and we went to work. We were also conscious of the large lake which was growing ever bigger on the road outside, just like last time

At some stage, in the middle of all  this mayhem, Mr Jazzy remembered that we'd also called the emergency services the last time. Yes, the fire brigade were there for 3 hours pumping out our floodwater, I recalled.



Good idea, let's call them. So I dialled 999.....and was put on interminable hold. While only silently panicking to that point I could feel it all slipping away as I half screamed and cried, yet again, to anyone within earshot.... 'I'm on hold...for the EMERGENCY services? How the flipping hell can that be?'.... Ok,  admittedly I was a little more ... colourful.... than that in my choice of language. I simultaneously  phoned the local Gardai from another phone and they eventually answered. They explained that a state of emergency had been declared in our Capital city and that they themselves, even with their secret contact numbers, couldn't get hold of them. God help any seriously ill person needing an ambulance, that rainy Monday night in Dublin.

So, we were completely on our own this time, it seemed. It was totally down to us to save our homes. And that's precisely what we did. NOT on our watch....

Back to rely on our good ole ever faithful friends, the lowly, and utterly under-estimated wheelie bins.....and our real-life human friends too, in the form of our fantastic neighbours who once again came to our assistance. Community spirit is alive and kicking in our village.

We quickly got a system going whereby using pots, pans, buckets and anything we could lay our hands on, we (adults and children alike) frantically filled one wheelie bin which one of the men would drag about 100 yards down the road to the nearest unblocked shore, while we started filling another wheelie bin. This system was in place in a number of homes. The primary aim was to keep the water from getting above the front step of our homes and gaining access. Clearing the water from the front also lowered the water level at the back of the house. Please....please flood water, don't destroy our lovely 3 year old extension.  Anything else was a bonus.

And we did indeed get a bonus. The Gods themselves shone on us that night and decided, in their infinite wisdom that being flooded once was more than enough - especially since we live on a cliff and decided to turn off that giant tap in the sky, with minutes to spare.  NOT on their watch...

To put it in perspective and to give you a fuller picture of our predicament that night: if the rain hadn't stopped when it did then using wheelie bins to remove the flood water would have been the equivalent of using thimbles. Yet, we would have continued bailing out that floodwater as, in our minds, to use thimbles was better than doing nothing.

Even though the rain had stopped we carried on working feverishly to clear all water threatening our homes and those of our infirm neighbours. However,  we also wisely used the breathing space this god given bonus afforded us and deployed teams to clear the on-road shore blockages and to assess the real problem that brought this to our doorways again.

Three people headed to that  real source of the flood..... the visible  over ground ever-growing river  flowing down Quinns Road with speed and with nowhere to go. Finding the lowest point of gravity it diverted into our estate. But the real problem was, just like last time, the one none of us could see, but knew was there. The deluge of water, draining from the many estates leading onto the Quinns Road, that was thundering underground at a ferocious rate and couldn't, for whatever reason, 'turn the corner' to  gain access to the famous 5ft diameter drainage pipe that takes all of our water out to sea. That underground deluge also found the same lowest point of gravity to divert to.... the under ground pipe from our estate which joins that system just at that 'corner'.

Note: Last time it was that 5ft diameter pipe that was found to be 40% blocked by huge tree roots and builders debris from a recent extension at the tennis club. That was deemed, by the council, to be the primary cause of our  previous flood. That drain hadn't been examined or cleaned in years.

Soon our homes were out of danger so we all joined in in manually clearing the leaf and debris blocked roadside shores, that had  not been recently cleaned by the Council. Our husbands, under the dark cover of night and  with no protective gear had to stick their hands, through a foot or two of  filthy flood water, down the shores to remove blockages to allow the water flow freely. The Tanaiste (Deputy Prime Minister) of our country was spotted poking his head from behind a nearby bush then promptly disappearing. Presumably to phone the man he knew was right for the job...our local very hard working Councillor who appeared on the scene just as we finished up, at around 10.30 that  night. We thank them both.

We were exhausted after our 2 hour frantic dash to save 18 homes from being flooded again and know that we have a long, hard battle ahead to ensure that the Council solve this problem once and for all this time. We are clear that we need constant, regular drain maintenance and road sweeping. We need an urgent engineer's report on that large drainage pipe to see what the blockage was this time and we need them to separate our drainage system from the current connection point and lay a new pipe to join in further down. We are blessed to have an active Councillor and Residents Association to support us in our endeavours.

NEVER again should the waste and sewerage water from a large portion of our  village be allowed to flood our much smaller housing estate.

We have no doubt that our prompt, yet frantic actions on Monday night saved the Insurance companies a fortune.. Our claims the last time round must have amounted to about a million Euro. All down to the Council's inaction.The council no longer employs road sweepers to clear drains. Cutbacks, to save money. Yet another false economy in this era of Austerity. It costs more to clean up after these events and to lay costly pipes then it does to provide regular maintenance. House Insurance premiums increase for everyone when more and more flood claims are made, but those making the claims are at risk of not getting further flood coverage.

We are reliably informed that had we flooded on Monday night we would have been covered but thereafter our Insurance companies would have refused flood cover. Even though...... we live on a cliff !! For cryng out loud... how ridiculous is that?

We are so relieved that  we didn't flood on Monday and know how close we came. Those shores in our garden? Just as the rain stopped Mr Jazzy checked and saw  that the level of waste water in one shore was right to the top. He didn't dare open the sewage one.The next stage was those shores to pop....letting God knows what spew everywhere.

We were saved by 10 minutes,  the rain-gods turning off the tap,  fabulous neighbours........ and very deep wheelie bins!

We're safe for now but there's more rain due on Saturday and tons more leaves to fall from the trees, so floodwatch will begin anew then and we'll be ready to go into action at short notice if needed.

We are thankful to be safe and that no-one was injured or lost their lives. we know others weren't so lucky and our hearts go out to them and to their families.

Stay safe....

xx



PS: Photo credits to ShankillFalls Photostream

Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Boy in the Mirror...

Once upon a time there was a gorgeous little baby who loved to cuddle with his mum.

 

He was a smiley baby who, when not tantruming or screaming with frustration at this world, loved to laugh, have fun and immerse himself in anything that was going on..



He got bigger and funnier (or 'funner' as he might say) as he grew up...


 
 He loved Christmas and Thomas the Tank...


 He also discovered a distinct liking for coca cola at a young age, and was spotted cossetting ALL the tiny cans at a birthday party whilst all the children were busy in the bouncy castle....




 They really were seriously, finger-licking good....



He always loved his cuddles and snuggles with his mum (and dad too!) though, no matter his age....







He was quite often to be seen dangling from his mum's hip, right up to the age of 6 or 7, as she went about her duties. But that was really a situation of the mum's making. She loved to get her cuddles from her boy whenever and however she could, you see. How else to placate a bored, demanding 6 year old when one is fulfilling their role as choreographer at an equally demanding dress rehearsal? It's amazing the variety of roles one can manage with a child of any age dangling from one's hip!

The boy grew up to be too tall for such positions of closeness though, but mum could still wrap her arms around him and get snuggles and cuddles on demand.

Then one day mum got a shock when she looked in the mirror, as she was stealing yet another snuggly cuddle from her boy...


When and how did he get as tall as me, she wondered? How on earth did that happen?

Mum is utterly shocked at this recent revelation, but is also very relieved that although her boy is beginning to outgrow her, he does not appear to have outgrown her snuggles and cuddles. Yet.

It is a huge milestone she feels, yet she knows there are more imminent, and far more scarier, ones on the horizon as Teendom rapidly approaches by apparent express delivery. 

As long as she has snuggles and cuddles she's equipped to deal with anything coming her way.

Including talk of girls, or 'random stalkers' as her boy might say, 'fancying' him. (Oh.... dear.... GOD!)

She might, just might, even cope with supposed talk of girls allegedly wanting to kiss him. (Whhaaaattt??!!)

In this she is reminded of a legendary Dublin saying, said with a distinctive Dublin accent, and remains resolute....

'I don't mind kissin'.....  but I hate tha''


xx




 PS. Apologies for the poor quality of the photos. I can't scan properly to my PC so I had to a bit...ahem.... creative to  get  them here!








Monday, October 17, 2011

The Boat



I sit atop the perilous cliff edge

As the evening light fades in the local park.

I'm drawn to this spot when I noticed the boat on the soft sea waves

 mere moments ago. 

The big white boat with it's salubrious red markings is sitting silently in the bay..  

Just sitting. 



The night is closing in and it feels wonderfully calm.

I hear the gentle rippling waves softly lap the stoney shore below where I sit. 

The night air clothes me in it's late summer warmth and magical embrace. 

I am now rooted to this spot...


Entrapped by the stillness of my surroundings

And the beauty of the view on the calm sea ahead. 

And still the boat just sits there. 

Watching me 

As I watch it 



The light house and buoys blink at us both with regular insistence, 

As if to draw us closer  still, in this magical moment. 

Why is the boat just sitting in the bay?

Why am I sitting here? 



The light fades further and the night sky slowly darkens

With a twinkling  promise of the starry night to come.

I can barely see the boat, just sitting on the bay. 

It cannot see me atop my perilous cliff- seat.  



The light fades further still and all around is eerily quiet 

The walkers have long since departed.

And now, so must I.






xx

Note: Image credit: fotosearch.com

Friday, October 14, 2011

Meeting With Friends..... New and Old


With all signs of illness banished from the house, I managed to shake myself  free from the 5 day old shackles that had bound me and escaped to go meet some other adults this week, not once but twice!


My first outing was to the Dublin twitter social event of the month on Wednesday night. Well it certainly received a lot of twitter promotion in the past few weeks and you'd want to have been living on a far distant planet not to have known it was on! It was fabulously organised by a wonderful group of tweeters, a couple of whom I've only been recently following. They went to a lot of bother on twitter and in reality. There was a blog set up, an Oct12tweetup hashtag, a venue booked and platters of food organised. We even had very posh Oct12tweetup name badges!


Although I've been to a many a facebook meet-up at this stage this was my first ever tweetup. I didn't have to brave it alone though, I dragged bribed courteously invited two of my very good blogging and real-life pals  Blue Sky and Nan P to accompany me on this auspicious occasion. None of us had been to a tweetup before and we wondered what a tweetup was, really. I thought it might be like a facebook coffee morning.... but at night, with wine? We also wondered what the term for us first-time tweetup attendees might be..... tweetup virgins perhaps? Twirgins? twirginups? Oh hell, have another glass of something while we figure it out!

We arrived not truly knowing what to expect. What would the people (or tweeple) be like in real life? Would they be like their twitter persona's or do we all hide behind the sometimes anonymous feel of twitter and our avatars? In my head if I can't see them, they can't see me so I feel ridiculously anonymous on twitter.... which is truly ridiculous! What did the bar manager think when his pub was booked for this thing called  a 'tweetup'? One thing I knew for sure though, despite what my family may think of these things called twitter and facebook there would be no axe-wielding 'individuals' or Libyan Generals and the like in attendance!!

And I was right, there wasn't. Just a bunch of really nice, welcoming people is all. Hugs were offered and accepted from tweeters we've been regularly in contact with and new introductions were gladly made. Friendships made online were cemented in reality and new twitter connections forged. It was a lovely night enjoyed by all who attended. It was lovely to see #oct12tweetup light up on twitter in the aftermath and to receive so many warm follow friday mentions today also.

When you follow and engage with some good people, twitter is an amazing place. I'm lucky, I have tons of good people on my follow list. I know that for real now.

My second outing was the very next night when I met up with some friends of old. Some super-mums from my son's first (special) school. Although none (or very, very few) of our children attend the school any longer we nonetheless meet a couple of times a year. It is really great to catch up on how the children are doing and on our lives too. Over a lovely meal and a glass or two of wine, of course! It was a very enjoyable night also.

I value the friends I have. I truly value those I have made in reality as I've traveled through my life to date and now I put equal value on the friends I've made through social media.

Friends are important in life. It doesn't matter how these friendships are forged, whether it's online or in real life situations: friendships are friendships. They all count. They all mean something.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion on online communication via these social sites but people who don't partake shouldn't be so quick to judge those of us who do;-)

And those of us who do enjoy spending time online to engage with our online friends shouldn't forget our real life friends in the process!

We remember and treasure all of our friends.


xx



PS Image credit to wine-canyon.com

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Stuck in Inbetween Land


I've been playing the 'how sick is he really' game all week with my WiiBoy. It started last Wednesday when he awoke with a sore throat and I diligently played my 'good mother role'.....  by plying him with Nurefen and sending him off to school!

Actually, it really started a few weeks ago with a mysterious 'now it's here... now it's gone' headache. It got mentioned every couple of days....and any time he was stressed in any way.... or didn't want to do something! He got sent in a couple of days with nurefen then also. Although he may have used it for ulterior motives the headache was real, he wasn't putting it on.

Headaches are kind of worrying aren't they? But with an 11 year old on the cusp of teendom, a headache could be any number of things! It could be to do with his eyes, his blood pressure (kidney related perhaps?), teenage hormones coursing at  the speed of light through his veins, extended xbox play (be very careful when you make such a suggestion to your child!)...... or it could simply be a sign of an incoming cold/bug/viral thingamajig!

That's what it seems to be now..... a cold/bug/viral thingamajig.

Not fully one or the other. An Inbetween bug thingamajig, so to speak.

He did survive last Wednesday in school though. He even survived  Grandpa's birthday meal in a lovely Chinese restaurant that night, filling himself with adult portions of Spring Rolls and Chicken Chow Mein. And birthday cake too, of course. Filled my heart with joy to see him eating like that, considering his younger eating, actually non-eating, habits.

He survived it so spectacularly that I plied him with Nurefen the next morning when he awoke in similar fashion! Alas, I got the phone call 90 minutes later and I had to go collect him! He was feeling miserable and getting upset at the slightest thing. How much from illness and how much from pre-teen hormones is anyone's guess, although I do suspect it's more the former!

So, here I am stuck in Inbetween Land with an 11 year old, on the cusp of teendom, who is feeling a tad under the weather and is stumbling through his various emotional pathways;  from Moany Drive straight to Teary Close, turning right into Hyper Avenue which leads directly into the Cul-de-Sac known as  Giddy Heights! Oh the joys...

He has improved slightly but still the headache remains. He's unsure at times whether it's a headache or a fuzzy feeling and he does feel a bit weak.

Not weak enough to keep him off xbox though.

Yet weak enough to prevent him completing his school project that has to be handed in tomorrow morning!

In fairness he has taken himself off xbox regularly and even went to bed one night without being asked!

And he did try to help with the project but he couldn't concentrate for long. His head is wrecked apparently and if I'm honest that's why I'm reluctant to send him back to school. Whatever chance he has of getting through his day when his head is focused what chance does he have if it's wrecked? I may be just setting him up for a big fall.

So, the project is done, completed by yours truly. I thought it would be difficult to write as an 11 year old but alas, it was surprisingly easy!. A bit like some  first drafts of most stuff that you read here in fact.... Sigh! However, final editing  is now complete and the pages are printed off and in his schoolbag.

Waiting to see what tomorrow will bring.

If not school then perhaps a quick trip to the Doctor for a check up I think.

To pay €60 to get an official diagnosis of  a cold/bug/viral thingamajig!

I do hope he returns to school soon.

As much as I love my son I need to escape this Inbetween Land you see, in a....

I'm a mum..... Get Me Out of Here!!!

kind of a way. If you see what I mean...

But if I'm stuck here you'll all keep me company..... won't you?

xx





Note: Image credit: picturesof.net

Thursday, October 6, 2011

iPad for Secondary School....


There has been a little party going on for a while now over on Jen's Irish Autism Action Blog and I've been on the outside looking in for quite some time.

It's a special party..... a kind of a BYO party.

Except it's not wine or beer you bring along, it's old unwanted mobile phones. You know, every house has them, stuffed in drawers, behind sofas and lost in presses. Just sitting there doing nothing.

Well, lots of people at this party have collected these working and nonworking (doesn't matter) mobile phones to recycle them under a marvellous initiative by BPI Telecom and the IAA. You collect the phones, IAA gets some funds, and the individual or school can exchange the phones for a device or piece of equipment. For example...165 phones will get you an iPad!

See here for full details and here for some more recent iPad options available.

It's a fantastic initiative and so far 81 iPads have been given out to various individuals and schools by BPI Telecom and IAA!

I love a good party, me and I've been hanging around too long on the outskirts of this one.

I wasn't too sure if this is a party I could attend, you see. My child is older, high functioning and doing extremely well.

But then I got to thinking.....


iPads are amazing devices full of educational and communication promise.

Could it be of benefit to a child on the cusp of second level education, I wondered?

Could school books be downloaded to it and would it be easier for the ASD kid to access his/her text books via this medium?

Could homework or projects be researched and  presented via this device?

Could this device revolutionise diminished organisational skills?

Could it make it easier for scheduling and planning?

Could it help with homework note-taking?

Is there an App for that? And if not.... why not?

And finally.... Could it bring you a nice cup of tea in the morning? Okay, maybe I ask too much of this wonderful device!


Taking all of the above into consideration, I have finally decided to make a late (and hopefully not too dramatic!) entrance to this party!

So I am now collecting mobile phones for my WiiBoy in anticipation of his entry into second level education in September 2012.

Let me pave the way for others behind me!

So I ask you, my Irish readers,  to please keep me in mind if you have any old phones you need to recycle.

You will be helping to raise funds for the IAA and can also enter into a draw to have your mortgage paid for a year! There's also a runners-up prize of a Spanish family holiday up for grabs!

The phones in working condition will go to third world countries and the non-working ones will be broken down into their components and re-used. So you'll be helping the environment too!

If I'm lucky enough to get more phones than I need then any excess will be passed on to our local school, or to this group of  facebook people, all of whom are also collecting them at present.

These devices are revolutionising life for lots of children on the Autistic Spectrum, at home and in Montessori and primary schools. Now let's see what they can do for kids in Secondary school.


Please contact me via comments below or on my Jazzygal facebook page or my twitter account (see sidebar for details) if you can help.


Many thanks :-)


xx


                  (& WiiBoy!)


Note: Image credit to: http://www.signupgenius.com

Saturday, October 1, 2011

WiiBoy's Words of Wisdom: Act 1 Scene 7: The Experts


The scene is set in back garden at about 10pm one summer's evening, as Mum and WiiBoy end a busy, fun-filled day chatting whilst gathering up his nerf gun spongy bullets. WiiBoy has had a wonderful day and has quite a lot to say about it! 


They move back inside with him still chatting. The TV is on and mum finally gets to sit down with her favourite toy...her laptop....


WiiBoy: Ooh.... look at him, this looks fun!

Mum: Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot that 'America's Got Talent' is on tonight. Will we watch it together? It'll be fun!

WiiBoy: Yes!

Mum: Ok so.....bed straight after at 11 pm though.... no problems, ok?

WiiBoy: Sure mum.

Mum does her usual muti-facetweeting-blog-reading thing, whilst dipping in and out of the TV programme....

WiiBoy: Oh-My-God mum... look at him.... oh my God... now look at what he's doing... mum.... look...

Mum: (lifts her head up) Oh yes... I see him... very funny. (head goes back to the comment she's working on)

WiiBoy: Oh look at this guy mum..... he's so girly (he - ahem - may have used another word!)

Mum: Hmmm.... well he is quite effeminate. Wonder if he can sing? Ok, say now can he or can't he.... quick, before he sings...

WiiBoy: Yes!

Mum: And it's a Yes from me too! (he/she sings Lady Ga Ga) Wow..... what an amazing singer and and a fantastic version of that song. He's kind of like a... Lady-Boy Ga Ga, isn't he?

WiiBoy: You mean a Gay Boy Ga Ga!!

Mum: Now WiiBoy.... that's not nice. We do not say that.

WiiBoy: But he is... and look!! There he goes carrying a silver handbag!!

Mum: Oh yes, so he does!! (best not to labour the point;-) He's fantastic though, I hope he does well.

WiiBoy: (trying subdued but not quite carrying it off!) Ummm..... yes mum!

The evening continues with WiiBoy commenting constantly on every little thing. Mum is enjoying it but she wants her laptop time too. She can't possibly keep up with him and it doesn't take long for the mood to suddenly change..... unfortunately.

WiiBoy: Mum.... quick look at this lady... .mum...now...... MUUUUMMM... you missed it again... you never look when I ask you to.

Mum: Sorry son but I can't possibly look up EVERY single time you ask.....

WiiBoy: You never do...always chatting on that thing...mumble, mumble, grumble, mutter....

Mum: Ok... that's it... time for bed.

WiiBoy: No, it's not..... you never listen to me etc; etc;etc

Mum: It's very late now WiiBoy,  time for bed .... NOW

WiiBoy is getting more annoyed and angry and there are tears as he expresses how unimpressed he is at his mum's....ahem... preferred interest. He keeps sharing these thoughts of his on his walk to and up the stairs, with mum not far behind him...

WiiBoy: You're always on that laptop (dons funny voice) 'ooh... chatting with my friends on facebook and twitter... ooh.. look at me...'

Mum: Now that's not quite true, this is the only time today that I've sat down... you've had lots of xbox play today,  haven't you?

WiiBoy: I'm not obsessed... and you can't say much anyway... you're obsessed. You don't even know these people!

Mum: Well, I have met quite a few of them now and I'm very careful whom I talk too...

WiiBoy: NO... you DON'T know them... they're all ..... terrorists... and rapists.... and... and.... Gaddafis!!

Mum: (trying really hard not to laugh and knows it's impossible to reason, or reprimand, your way out of a mini-meltdown) Now WiiBoy... that's not true!

WiiBoy: Well... I'm going to be friends with anyone I like so...

Mum: No, you're not... .you must be careful.

WiiBoy: Well why can't I.... why?? Go on.... why..

Mum: Because .... well... because (turning into her own mother).. because... I..... I said so!!

They get up the stairs and things eventually calm down, with mum's help. Mum gets WiiBoy settled in bed....

Mum: Night night, sleep well sweetie.... you've had  a lovely day today and we'll have a lovely day tomorrow too. I'm very proud of how nicely you played wiith your friend today.

WiiBoy: gently nods his head in acceptance and snuggles up... ready to sleep.

They finish their goodnights in their usual fashion, by blowing kisses at each other as mum leaves the room...

We see mum at the top of the stairs with hand on the light switch as she looks down the stairs.....

Mum: In conclusion and in order to keep the peace, let me just state that no-one in this house is obsessed with anything. Okay? Let's just say that WiiBoy is..... an expert at Xbox and that I'm an expert at social media and leave it that ...alright?  

Phew!

She turns off the light and as she does so....
                              
                                          Blackout


                                           Curtain


                                       END OF ACT 1



(NOTE: As I've been honoured with a request, this post will be entered into the S-O-S Best of the Best's  'Family fun-life, Loving and Special' October edition! Wish me luck, I hope it's accepted! Check the link on the 15th October to see!)

xx


    
If you like this post, check out the series!


For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 1 (Wrinkles) click here
For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 2  (Random Words) click here
For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 3 (Birds and the Bees) click here
 
For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1, Scene 4 (Theatre Trip) click here
For Wiiboy's WoW: Act 1 Scene 5 (Balloons) click  here For WiiBoy's WoW: Act 1 Scene 6: (Random Communication) click here


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