Friday, August 26, 2011

The Dream.....

I've spent a lot of  time this summer trying to get WiiBoy to just go out and play. You know, outside, where all the other kids are playing, on their bikes, on the green, looking at bugs in their gardens or just hanging out. You know, the regular stuff that regular kids do.

WiiBoy is a home boy. Happy to stay here and play on the xbox, and bounce on the trampoline when I absolutely insist he go outside and get some air and exercise. I've made a concerted effort to do things and go places wth him every other day but it's exhausting! Sometimes I just want to hang out at home too. But hanging out at home means extended xbox play. That said there have been no XboxWars this summer,  not really and I'm very proud of him for that. He has also befriended a friend he fell out with last year and they've played a lot together. Outside play still involves the trampoline.....  and nerf guns! They take turns at shooting the sponge bullets at each other when on the trampoline. It looks like great fun!

But when he's alone at home I often ask him, in desperate tones, to just go outside and play! Anywhere. Go to the green, I tell him, you never know who you'll meet. He's just not interested. I tell him how as kids we were sent outside and not let back in 'til meal times! Nah, still not bothered by my hard luck story!

Then last night I had a dream, an awful dream. A dream I actually woke myself up from it was so awful.

I dreamed that WiiBoy did go out to play. he went to a green, or somewhere away from the house.

And he didn't come back.

A week later there was still no sign of him.

It was one of those dreams where things happened slowly and no matter how hard I tried somethings were impossible to achieve.

I was, of course, worried sick about him but I wasn't out walking the streets looking for him. We didn't call the police for a few days and I was upset about that, I recall. I think I was waiting to hear from him.

He had his phone with him you see, I always insist he carries it in real life, in case someone runs away with him! And I  have to remind him to switch the damn thing on.

In the dream he phoned or texted us, he said he was fine and didn't want to come home. So unlike our home boy.

I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable and upset in this dream and had a feeling of imminent doom. Something really bad was going to happen. In fact, so strong was this feeling that I may have even made myself dream that he texted us. I definitely made myself wake up.

I have not been able to get this dream out of my head all day.

What does it mean?

I'm an avid reader and my genre of choice is psychological thrillers. I devour them. Can't get enough of them. I had just started reading Michael Connelly's latest The Reversal last night, but was only one chapter in. A child was abducted and killed in this book. In more recent books I've read children were abducted and some of them showed up months later. I think that's the feeling I had in my dream. Or it's a feeling I made myself feel... he's going to come back.

Maybe my psychological thriller addiction is why I had this dream.

Maybe my psychological fear/dread/excitement take your pick over his impending Teendom and an unconcious fear of losing my little boy was the reason behind the dream.

Or maybe it was just a dream.

 An awful dream.

It's okay son, you don't have to go outside and play after all.


xx




16 comments:

  1. Val, I firmly believe that our dreams play out our fears & worries and try to help us resolve these issues, but that's just me. Your lovely WiiBoy will be fine, as he has you for a Mam xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Colette: I'm inclined to believe you. I do think are dreams mean something. Thanks for your lovely comment! :-)

    xx Jazzy

    ReplyDelete
  3. I once woke up suddeny and couldn't find DD anywhere. I was just about to go up to my neighbour for help when I realized it was 1pm and she was in nursery. I will never forget that feeling of rising panic as I realised she wasn't in the flat.
    On a lighter note - I also have to make myself go out and I've noticed that DD has put on weight this summer from having too much hanging around the house time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't read most books involving bad things happening to children, as they would just upset me. Like you I would love my son to want to go out and play - like he used to - but in those days I used to worry all the time until he came back in the door, safe. Perhaps the dream was reflecting that? The WiiBoy I've met seems very happy at home and with his Mum, so I really think the bad dream was just a nightmare xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. I too have been fighting with Jack all summer to just go outside. I've mostly lost that battle. As I type this, his father is having an epic battle with the kid to get him to go to the mall. Any wonder we're tired?

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Midlife Singlemum: Oh, that is SO scary. Not a nice feeling at all.

    @Blue Sky: I hope so too! Part of me thinks it's a reflection on my reading material but a bigger part of me feels it's reflecting imminent change and a sense that I'll lose the sweet WiiBoy I presently have. He may be, of course, be replaced by a fabulous teenage version! Thanks for your lovely observation re: my WiiBoy :-)

    @karensomethingorother: yes...the effort alone to get them out the door is exhausting enough!! Good to hear Im not the only one losing that particular battle!

    Thanks for your comments :-)

    xx Jazzy

    ReplyDelete
  7. I do believe dreams exist for a reason, but I also believe that sometimes it is a jumble-up of a bunch of stuff in your head and can also be random. Who knows? I work with a child at school who has autism and one of the things we are going to work on this year is leisure. Sometimes, kids on the spectrum have to be taught how to play, what to choose to do outside, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Kristy: Yes, true but I think of a kind of similar dream I had years ago and it definitely did mean something. I totally agree.... kids on the spectrum do indeed have to be taught how to play. Believe me, I've done that! I've spent years being the ONLY mum supervising his outside play with others and now I'm done! He knows damn well how to do it now but prefers xbox play...the little monkey!!

    Thanks Kristy :-)

    xx Jazzy

    ReplyDelete
  9. I hate dreams like that... hope you are OK and enjoy the rest of your holidays (inside or out!)... Emma :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. How completely scary, thank goodness it was just a dream. Mich x

    ReplyDelete
  11. OMG SO scary
    On your question on my post
    Google " the 17 day diet" by dr Moran
    It's kind of a lean protein and vegetables diet

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Emma: I am fine, thank you. Just got me really thinking!

    @Michelle Twin Mum: Thank goodness is right!

    @K-floortime Lite mama: Thanks for that... I'll look it up:-)

    Thanks for your comments:-)

    xx Jazzy

    ReplyDelete
  13. i dont dream too often or at least there's very few i remember...but those ones where u av to wake up before the bad things happen are scary....but in my limited experience they are a combination of things that av happened fairly recently that playin on ur mind...so ur book reading about abductions combined with ur insistence on wiiboy playin outside made their own wee scene....perhaps sign for u to not worry bout him inside all time...am a lazy beggar me thats no secret...mine all couch potatoes if dont literally shove them out the door to play wen we av good weather...but himself is out one door in the other and back in front of the wii....he's happy...wen he feels the need to mingle with the others he does...he has no problem playin alone all day...i av no problem with him doin it either cos i know he will be back to normal on thurs so therefore there is no problem...i know we av to force them into social situations cos they wont actively seek them out but feck it wen they are happy i say leave them be....rekn ur wiiboy gets enough outings with the active ma that he has that u av no worries bout him avin square eyes in front of screen....so dont worry bout ur dreams they are not an insight to the future but a mash-up of stuff that's already happened....

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Jazzy. I have similar dreams like that over my daughter and I feel its my inner worries coming out at night. She is aspergers too and I feel these nightmares of mine are provoked by my concerns over her vulnerability. Hope you feel better now. Deb xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. ah, play . . . something I too often wish my as boy would do. I know it's unfair to say that word to him as it's quite obviously alien. It takes following others to do it! *sigh* at least we are not alone.

    Dreams now, well, I've always had a great interest in dreams and many of them have meant things and even come true! But now I've learnt to know the difference. Fears and anxieties playing out for sure!

    Amelia.x

    ReplyDelete
  16. @Sesame: You are so right Sesame, you've just reminded me of a thought I had in the preceeding days before the dream. I remember coming to the conclusion that my WiiBoy was more capable of standing up for himself if approached by strangers. More capable than I give him credit for. Then I read my book...and had my dream! Thanks! And thanks for your lovely comment.

    @Deb at aspieinthefamily: That is quite true also. My guy is becoming less vulnerable and I have to get used to that! I'm doing fine..thanks so much :-)

    @Amelia: Play is a very difficult concept. Thankfully we've worked our way through that and he's well capable of it now,he just chooses xbox play over outside play! Hopefully you'll be successful in this too ;-) I sure hope that dream of mine dpoesn't come true! Maybe the one about me winning the lottery could come true though??!!

    Thank you ladies, for your lovely comments :-)

    xx Jazzy

    ReplyDelete

Your comment is very much appreciated! x

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...