I jokingly say saddled above because I do love it but this is a very difficult task for me.
1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes. It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here.
2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make stuff up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you.
3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.
4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things.
See my problem is that I am the world's worst liar. I can't make up stuff!! I know you can't actually see my face but I know you can tell..... and you've no idea how long it's taking me to do this!
However, I don't want to be incessantly harassed.
So, here goes...
1) I'm a fabulous singer and on the third Thursday of every month myself and my mother (wheelchair included) go to a karaoke bar and belt out Dancing Queen by Abba, in full Abba attire. Naturally!
2) Being a self-confessed Desperate Housewife, stuck at home in these recessionary times, I have followed the business advice of one of the cast members of this popular TV show and set up my own ...ahem.... cleaning business from home. I have built up quite a client list at this stage, from all over the world. Poor Mr Jazzy can't quite figure out why the phone is always busy these days. And Jazzy's Hotline is ALWAYS busy ;-)
3) I hate wine. Never drink the stuff....ever!
4) I loved singing when I was a child and my party piece was Congratulations by Cliff Richard. I used to do the mouth/teeth thing he does too!
5) Excited squeals of joy (Me?? You mean me??....) can be heard at Chez Jazzy whenever an award is bestowed upon me ;-)
Oh...look at that...there's my five. I was just getting into it...and getting to like it too.
Included in my five are three out-and-out lies, one semi- truth and one absolute truth.
Whoop.... I did it!
I know you can spot the lies though!
And now to pass this award on to others...
With the powers invested in me I now bestow this salubrious award onto my fellow blogging pals:
Jean at Planet Outreach
Zarah at Lifeasweknowit
Alysia at Try Defying Gravity
Hammie at Hammiesays
Nan P at Journey into Grand-Motherhood
Don't forget to link back to Jillsmo's Bloghop when you're done :-)