I don't like events or special occasions to pass by without celebrating them in some way, however small.
I like Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, for example. Unfortunately Mr Jazzy doesn't so we don't do anything special to celebrate them. Fortunately, however, our WiiBoy is now coming of age and I can easily
I like birthdays too and I really like to celebrate them.
Again, unfortunately Mr Jazzy does not. He absolutely does not want a fuss made when it is his birthday and doesn't want any presents etc. I respect his wishes and go along with them to a certain extent and only make a fuss if it's a Special Birthday. I now give him money as a present, to put towards something he may be saving for and WiiBoy may give him something small too. However, I insist that we go out for a family meal, Early Bird or a low key lunch, in celebration. For WiiBoy's sake.
See, I compromise for his birthday.
Yesterday was Valentines Day AND MY birthday...... a double whammy for Mr Jazzy! And he acted same as always. Totally understated.
Note: Mr Jazzy firmly believes that special days like Valentines Day and Mothers Day etc are Hallmark inventions!
I compromise around my birthday too though. If Mr Jazzy won't celebrate it in any meaningful way then I'll surround myself with events to make up for that! So, I had a couple of evenings out in advance of the day and have a few more planned besides. Okay, most of them are catch-up-with-friends dates that happen to be suggested at this time. How convenient!
I slowly came to the realisation though, that that's not quite the same as having your family, as small as it is, celebrate your day with you and as the day approached I found myself getting more upset and cross. Very cross!! And the worm was turning....
I dropped hints. Lots of them. I even roped WiiBoy in as far back as two weeks ago by pointing out a small present he and Mr Jazzy could get me. I'm not greedy, I just think he should be involved in choosing a small present for his mum, like he does for his dad and besides, I am so fed up with buying everybody else's presents for them all the time ... including theirs for me!
It was 6pm the proceeding day before I was begrudgingly asked if I wanted to go for dinner for my birthday! I immediately said yes and was asked to book it myself! See what I mean? Well, I did book it. Always mindful of the recession I booked the Early Bird in our favourite Indian restaurant and had such a laugh with the guy who took the booking - over the fact I was booking for three. On Valentines night! I think he was initially afraid it was a Menage-a-Trois!! Best laugh of the day, I must say.
Thing is, if it was more enthusiastically suggested, I would have been perfectly happy with an inexpensive take-away meal that I didn't have to go and get, presented on a nicely laid table that I didn't have to set with candles and plates that I didn't have to wash afterwards. Throw in a bottle of wine and he'd have himself a very happy wife indeed!
Now please don't get the wrong impression of me. I'm easy to please really I am. I know plenty of women who are spoilt rotten on birthdays and Mother's Day etc. I'm not expecting any of that, honestly.
I just wanted my birthday to be acknowledged by those closest to me.
I wanted to be acknowledged by those closest to me.
I wanted WiiBoy, for once, to give me one small present that they had chosen together. A bunch of cheap flowers form Spar for example or even something from the 2Euro shop.
Even something as simple as them both insisting I sit down and they'll bring me a cup of tea would have really pleased me. Instead of rattling off jobs that needed doing that day.
Surely that's not asking too much, is it?
If WiiBoy isn't taught how to appreciate/acknowledge his mum how does he learn to appreciate any future women in his life?
I had a lovely day yesterday, as it turns out. I had lovely birthday snuggles from WiiBoy to start with - the bestest present a mum could ask for really:-) Priceless.
Also special were the amount of birthday texts I received and I was overwhelmed with the amount of facebook birthday wishes. A very big thank you to my facebook friends.... you all put such a big smile on my face:-) Also priceless
Two surprise little gifts from two very thoughtful gals also meant lot to me.
Birthday/Valentines Day cards from my two special men were presented to me late in the day, which is fine and money was my present. More than I needed or expected - and more than the small present I asked for cost, but I'm not telling!!
There were no cards in the post from my immediate family members though and I found that very disappointing and quite frankly, upsetting. Especially as my mam drives me demented all year round remembering everyone else's birthday and pestering me to send them cards etc. Anyway...
It was a good day and we had a lovely family meal with a very enthusiastic and well-behaved WiiBoy who ate from the adult menu, starters included! The best present of all. Totally priceless.
See, family celebrations are fantastic social learning experiences ;-)
Perhaps I felt this year more than others as this is the Penultimate Birthday. The one before my Special Birthday next year.Yikes!!
I'm not expecting, nor do I want, any special events to be organised for me.
Nor do I expect to be whisked off on an expensive surprise trip.
No doubt it'll be business as usual.
Special Birthdays are ones to be celebrated though. That's the only way I know how to cope with them.
So, I have a plan. I've already dropped hints but I'm not hanging around.
I have a slush fund and I'll keep adding to it ;-)