Wednesday, September 17, 2014

'Over The Tops': A Tops of the Town Musical Theatre Workshop...

It's almost a year since we had our John Player Tops of the Town reunion. It was a wonderful evening, presenting a fantastic opportunity for us all to meet people we hadn't seen in at least twenty years. We left in the early morning hours, with the parting comment being that maybe we would do 'one more [show] for the road'

Yes, admittedly the subject of another show was discussed on the night! Although the reality of the morning after did hit we didn't entirely forget what was said. A seasoned few fellow performers got together and had some subsequent and very secret meetings! Our ultimate decision was that we should bravely dip our sequined twinkle-toed feet into the water and have a reunion Workshop. Let's see how many other post-40 (and in particular post-50) ex-dancers are as mad as we are and are prepared to dust off their dance shoes and take to the stage once more!

So, without further ado I give you our 'Over The Tops' Musical Theatre Workshop. It's bound to combine the heady mixture of hard work, sweaty bodies, no lycra (please God no Lycra!) with some giggles and a whole lot of fun! We have a Dream Team of a Production team with:  Joan Kenny, dancer/choreographer/director of huge experience, as our Choreographer, Andy O'Callaghan, a well known musical director who is also currently composer for Mrs Brown's Boys and Mrs Brown D'Movie, as our MD and Tony Finnegan, an award winning actor and director, as our Director.

So, if you're over 40 and were involved in any way with Tops of the Town, or musicals, and fancy joining us in the Dance House, Foley Street on Sunday October 5th then all you have to do is book your place here. Then dig your dance shoes out of wherever they've been hidden and just turn up!

If you don't live in Dublin or the date doesn't suit you and you are interested then just email us at as we are planning more workshops NATIONWIDE!

You just never know what may come out of this workshop..........

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Mental Health Awareness.....

This is Mental Health Awareness Week. A week to lift up the carpet, releasing the veil of secrecy and perceived shame surrounding this illness, and to raise awareness. I guess it's all about getting it out into the open and removing the stigma attached to this 'invisible illness', as it's being tagged on twitter.

I'm all for it being openly discussed, so that no-one need feel ashamed when this illness hits them or if they have a friend or family member who has a mental health disorder. So that no-one feels hostile to mental illness That it's  a subject so openly discussed that they feel they can turn to family or friends requesting help and support, and then receive the necessary health care if required.

And that's where it can start to breakdown.

 It is wonderful when your loved one, or friend, feels that they can open up to you and admit how they are feeling. You can offer support; a listening ear, a comforting shoulder and even a cup of tea. That may appease things awhile, keeping the 'demons' at bay, but sometimes such support is but a band-aid that needs ever more regular changing. And there's only so much cups of tea one can drink, and only so much helplines can help.

While it's important that someone suffering with depression can turn to their family, it's important to point out that family are not always best equipped to deal with this illness, one that has many presentations particular to each sufferer. Families familiar with their loved ones illness eventually know when it's time to send for professional psychiatric help.

But that help can be very difficult to attain.

In my parent's generation things like this were never discussed, just a quick knowing nod accompanied by the familiar side-of-the-mouth, barely whispered - 'suffers with her nerves, you know' over the garden fence. I learned from them, at a very young age, to never tell anyone. No-one must ever know. You keep it to yourself at all costs. If I don't say anything then maybe it's not true? It will be fixed and our much loved family member would be returned to us as if nothing ever happened? Of course things didn't work out like that, things just ran their course as they always did and would continue to do in the future to come.

You see Mental Illness doesn't just affect the sufferer, it effects the whole family unit too. It can escalate into a very difficult situation very quickly, and help can be very difficult to attain. It is heartbreaking to see your loved one disintegrate before your eyes. I have no idea how horrendous these episodes are for the sufferer but to watch, knowing that all you can do is monitor and keep them safe until help arrives, is emotionally devastating. And help can take a long time to arrive. Especially if a breakdown peaks on a weekend. And in my experience they always peak on weekends. While it's the person in distress who's suffering the most, you bear this unbelievably distressing and stressful situation as best you can. Until Monday arrives and the doctor can be contacted, to once more set the complicated and slow turning wheels of assistance in motion.

I said it before and I'll say it again: I'd prefer to have Broken Bones than a broken mind, any day.

So, in order to raise Mental Health Awareness in this the year of 2014 what changes would I like to see happen, that would a difference to those who suffer with mental illness and their families?

  • That all psychiatric hospitals follow the St Ita example and are co-located with an acute one.
  • That all psychiatric nurses are allowed to use their basic general nursing skills. That would allow them to administer a drip (among other things) to a psychiatric patient who is, say,  dehydrated as a result of them not eating and drinking for days. This would in turn avoid the complicated efforts of transferring a patient from a psychiatric hospital to an acute one. And back again, which is where the real difficulties begin.
  • That they remove the idiotic rule that a patient cannot be transferred directly from an acute hospital to a psychiatric one. 
  • Of course if they implement the first one above they then perhaps alleviate the next two?
  • That they review the protocols around transporting a psychiatric patient to hospital. I know it's important to acknowledge staff safety in these sometimes seriously dangerous situations but is a police escort always necessary? Even if a patient is confirmed to be in a catatonic state? Can they not 'rate' the patient with regards to any possible violence, as assessed by their GP or community nurse?
  • That they can also examine how necessary it really is that someone else must accompany them on the journey. This sometimes necessitates a nurse/carer from a nursing home or a community nurse (if no family member available) being expected to leave their duties to accompany a patient to a psychiatric hospital that is usually remotely located miles away, with no means of transport to get back!
  • That they review protocols for ambulance personnel refusing to take a psychiatric patient who is distressed but not violent, and clearly needs help but says they don't want to go. It can't be right that they walk away from such a scenario.......
  • That proper supports are available in the community upon their release to support both the patient and their family. There are good supports available but an emergency helpline would be helpful.
  • That these supports be available at weekends also. There's doctor-on-call services for people with medical emergencies, why not something on a smaller scale for mental health emergencies? I know that a local psychiatric hospital does have a kind of doctor-on-call service, only for patients that attend their clinic, and they promise that you will be seen within a certain number of hours (24 or more). I have yet to see that happen.
  • That patients with mental health illnesses have more options apart from a weekly clinic. You and I can go to a GP any day of the week but a psychiatric patient usually has to wait a week to get seen!
  • That all professionals don't get so bogged down with the patient's rights that they let that over rule the patients need for treatment.

I don't think it's too much ask for really, is it?

*Please note, if you suffer from mental illness you can seek help from  Aware or Pieta House  if you feel the need to talk to someone. They are there to help.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Gotta Dance......

'I want to dance like her Mammy', said the awestruck three year old little me, many moons ago. Standing there right in front of the black and white TV screen, with both hands touching the beautiful ballerina as she danced pirouettes and grand jetés all across the stage. And arabesques too...

                                                photo credit:

I had to wait a few years before my wish was granted. And a few months more to get the leotard, tights and beautiful pink ballet shoes that were my most prized possessions, ever. How could my parents have ever doubted whether or not I'd 'stick to it'?

I didn't just 'stick to it' as regards Ballet, but as I grew older I embraced all forms of musical theatre style dancing, and dancing became more and more a huge part of my life. I adored it and worked very, very hard to become the best dancer I could be..... dancing pirouettes and grand jetés of my own all across the stage.

Fast forward a year or twenty to the young adult who went away with her non-dancing friends and whom, after some silly 'shenanigans', came home with torn ankle ligaments. I did a right job of it too, ending up in hospital for a week. I eventually came home with crutches, a cast on my leg and some daily Physio exercises to do. I do recall that the first question I asked my doctor after my operation wasn't 'will I walk again?' oh no, it was the far more important 'will I dance again'? He assured me that yes, I would.

So, off I went doing my set exercises three times daily, plus any other dance-like stretches I could manage. My aim was to strengthen the rest of my body so that it could best support my weakened leg when the cast came off. Before long I was back dancing in my magical world of  the stage, finding that, thanks to my strict exercise regime, I could now do the splits! A move I had long since yearned to do, and now I could. I was back stronger than ever it seemed.

Myself and my friends went from show to show and musical society to musical society, with oodles of dance classes in between, dancing our way up the twinkle toed ladder. There are lots of magical moments that stand out from that era and our Tops of the Town days are right up there as the most special. Adding the spice of competition to the magical elements of dancing on stage and you've got one helluva show.....and some fantastic memories too.

But the years roll on and the dancer grows up. I'm now a 50 something stay-at-home-mum to a teenager, living in suburbia, who along the way found an interest in doing some choreography. Being a Desperate Housewife is clearly not interesting enough for me it seems. It's not a huge amount of choreography, just some local school shows. But I do adore it. I adore passing on the stage experience I've gained to this generation and seeing the starlight gleam in their eyes as they perform on stage. I like to believe that in doing what I do, I am doing my bit to help keep the spirit of musical theatre and musical societies alive for another talented generation.

Fast forward thirty years or so and this 50 something, dancing mum, finds herself hit by another debilitating injury and is laid up for goodness knows how long. A back injury this time, hugely impacting on my left leg, sustained by attending a Pilates class of all things and this time I was hospitalised for three weeks. Once more the first question I asked my Doctors and Physiotherapist was 'will I dance again'? However this time the answers ranged from a 'maybe' ,to a shrug accompanied by a 'we'll see' ,to an implied 'never' - there's a huge twinkle toed grand jeté of a difference between a 'maybe' and a 'never' you know.

 It may be thirty years later but yet again here I am with one crutch, frenetically doing my Physio exercises three times daily, plus some short walks. However this time dance-like stretches cannot be done and I doubt I'll be performing the splits any time soon!

There will be no long walks, exercise classes or dancing opportunities for me either, for quite some time to come.

This really saddens me, especially since a project myself and some of my dancing friends have been secretly working on since last year is soon to come to fruition. And it's looking like I will not be partaking.

So, is this it for me? Nature's way of reminding me of my age, dragging me firmly into my fifties with me throwing a strop because I clearly don't want to?

I don't think so, despite what they say. I know I'll have to be careful, it is a back injury after all. But there has to be a way and I aim to find it.

Dancing is in my DNA and besides, I'm not quite ready to hang up my dancing shoes just yet......

Saturday, August 30, 2014

To Good Friends and Good News.

It's been a great week really, when all is said and done.

Monday came and went, floating away on the late evening happy news that I was indeed being discharged from hospital on Tuesday, as semi-promised to Teen Boy. Happy news indeed, what a great start to the week!

Of course, with all the toing and froing that comes with leaving hospital and getting so many things organised for home life - with back to school and me on one crutch to contend with - my online life had to be parked for a while. Which is a good thing really, I find. Take a break and hopefully return refreshed and all that.

It did bother me a tad though, but it didn't stop me contemplating and musing over all sorts of ideas and notions. You know, the strange and amusing thoughts that suddenly pop into your mind unwarranted, and the blogger in you thinking 'Ooh, I could blog about that, couldn't I?!

Then I thought about the friends we all have, in real life. You know the current, local, friends you have. Friends you enjoy chatting and meeting up with, friends you can turn to in a bind, and will regularly touch base with you if you ever suddenly find yourself in a long hospital stay situation! They are such good friends and we're all lucky to have them.

Then there are the friends whom you live far away from but still stay in touch with, who are also good friends. Meeting up so irregularly with these friends is especially enjoyable, you just pick up where you left off the last time and fill each other in on life's happenings in between. Over a bottle of wine, naturally!

And then we have the long lost friends. These are the friends that you may meet on the street, or in a shopping centre, somewhere bizarre and completely out of the blue, whom you 'haven't seen in YEARS dahling!'  Or the friends that make contact with you, or you with them, through facebook or some other means. These are friends whom you may not have seen in 10, 20 or even more years. It always amazes me that without fail, every single one of these long lost friends that I've talked to, face-to-face or on the phone, in the last couple of years, it's honestly like we've only spoken to each other the other day! You also seem to just pick up where you left off with these friends too, catching up with life events no matter how long the separation. Long lost friendships continued as if they were never interrupted....

And you never know what can happen when a group of long lost friends get together and go completely over the top with excting plans! Stay tuned... to be announced really soon!

Then we have our online friends, the ones we've built a connection with through twitter and facebook. We often ask each other how things are going, just like a friend in real life would. These friends are also good to have in a sudden long hospital stay situation! I am very grateful for their chats, interactions and laughter over the last three weeks. Kept me sane I can tell you. And not one of them even once chastised me for my wonky typing and spelling, that also came courtesy of controlled medications! That's true friendship, that!

So, now I'm home and it's been a happy but really busy week, with a hospital procedure to fit in too. I've touched base with my real life friends but not my online ones, which may appear as if I've dumped them! I've only been gone four days, I consoled myself, sure they probably won't have even  noticed my absence with busy lives of their own to contend with and all that!

So, this morning I cast my crutch aside and tentatively dipped my toes into the online world. Just a little like here, and a retweet and a comment there, to start with. Then I braved it with actual tweets and updates of my own! And yeah,  it's just like real life..... we simply carried on from where we left off.

So, having sorted out my friends, and my life, I then checked my emails. There were quite a few to go through, as you can imagine so I was delighted to find a special email, a gem buried among the debris, from the Blog Awards Ireland 2014 team to say that my little blog has made it to the shortlist! I even got this .... ahem... jazzy little badge to show for it!

  1. blog awards ireland

I don't expect to get any further but I'm delighted and congratulate all my fellow blogger friends who have also made  it thus far. And I urge you all to make the Finalist list..... if I don't make it  I want to see bloggers I know on that list again this year!

It's strange really. There was I taking a summer break from most online activities, blogging in particular, to make the school holidays a success. Well, you can't control online access for a teenager when you're stooped over your own laptop now, can you?! Then comes along an unexpected hospital stay and a blogging nomination to give me something to blog about and to blog for. And ironically, the time to do it!

I toast you all, good friends and good news, long may it continue and hope that you've had a good week also.

Opiate Disclaimer: I may be home but am still on the same medications so this still applies! All my recent posts are brought to you with difficulty (and take forever to do). All grammatical, spelling and syntax errors are brought to you courtesy of controlled medical substances. This disclaimer is also being extended to comments I make on your blogs, or on any Social Media Forums, anywhere. Why? Because while controlled substances relieve pain they also seem to act as truth drugs, and definitely induce brain farts....  

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Stolen Time

Life, as we all know, is like one long emotional roller coaster ride. It's a gamut of emotions, a rainbow spectrum of highs and lows and excitement and humdrum-ness.

Most of the time we just get on with it, we ride the ebb and flow of it all, and in the difficult times we try to get ourselves and our families out the other side, relatively unscathed. During the good times we make the most of the beautiful scenic moments and of happy family events and holidays. We store all these moments forming a precious memory bank where we, and hopefully in time our children, can mentally dip into, any time we want. We of course hope that the happy memories over-ride the not so happy ones, especially for our children. Yet there are important life lessons to be learned from all of life's events.

All these happy and difficult events are part of life and are character forming; they strengthen us all, adults and children alike, and in time helps us all be the people we eventually become. They strengthen our resolve, our minds and our determination to get through whatever life throws our way.

I think it's fair to say that I have been through quite a few of the colours of this emotional rainbow spectrum recently. A little trip to an exercise class has thrown me into a world coloured with relentless pain and endless pain relief and treatments; and my whole family into unexpected turmoil when I ended up being hospitalised. A place I am anxious to leave as soon as possible, although I am being very well taken care of here!

I dug deep for this and found my positivity and determination to fight, and get back to my usual agile and active self,  as quickly as possible. There were times when I really had to stop and take note of all the positive things that surround me.  However, if recent reports are correct then I will need this determination and strength of character for quite a while to come.


But now that things have settled somewhat, my medications and medical interventions (and there could be a few of those.... that hurt.... a lot) can be managed from afar; with me at home and attending regular out-patient appointments. Yes - me at home - that's  what I said! And if I follow all my physio instructions to the letter, which I do, then I'll enhance my chances of getting better and reaching my goals.

See? That's how this positivity and determination stuff works. You always try to find the silver lining. I'm still in pain but look how far I've come? I can now sit out on a chair and walk with just one crutch for goodness sake!

But then there are the days when you don't care if the world outside is coloured with glorious sunshine, because your indoor world is coloured a distinct shade of grey.

I had a day or two like that recently, days coloured by anger and sadness.

I was sad and and angry that through no fault of my own, my son's last month of school holidays have been ruined. He's been dragged around hither and tither and all in the name of being supervised because his mum wasn't available to be home.

This time was stolen from us both, all the things we had planned; movies to see, woods and lakes to be hiked and a planned trip, with others to a geological site of huge interest, that have all had to be cancelled.

Time that we will never get back. He will never be fourteen-and-a-half again, and being a whole year older next summer he may have better things to do then hang around with his mum! Although I wish that more than anything for him - there are those of you who will instinctively get this - we have definitely lost out this year. As we have also lost out on the little things we do as a family.

I was angry and sad that, in between entertaining Teen Boy, I have lost a month of enjoying some sunbathing, my solo walks and more exercise classes that I intended to pursue. The holiday weight I'd been working on losing too.

My ailing mother who hasn't had a visit from her daughter  in a whole month. That really saddens me.

The dance opportunities that are under discussion that I most probably will now have to say no to. This really makes me very sad and angry too..

Of course I could see the positives in this for my boy. The independence and maturity this whole episode will have given him and the time spent with cousins that he really enjoyed. It may very well be that in time, he will look back on this with a smile on his face! I get all this, really I do.

But then came a weepy, inconsolable day, a day when my hue of sadness had deepened a bit. Actually it deepened quite a bit.

The day when I was told that I may not be home for my son's return to school next Tuesday. There was no talking me out of this one! Of course the world wouldn't implode just because I'm not there for my son's first week back in school. The first week of his Junior Cert year. It will be fine, character building, blah, blah, blah....! As I've said before I get it, I do. And again there are those of you out there who will understand me.

Look, all this positivity and determination stuff is all fine and dandy and I am clearly a great believer of it and all that, but some days it just all goes to pot. Sadness and anger are just two of the many emotions we feel and we all deal with those weepy and inconsolable days in different ways. Some keep it in and some let or talk it out. Some even blog about it. And that's all fine and dandy too! In fact it's healthy.

Sometimes it just takes a good night's pain-free sleep, courtesy of some more medication, to rediscover your innate positivity and bring-it-on-ness that gets you back on your distinctly shaky feet, to work it all out and to accept that what will be will be.

It doesn't matter if I'm there or not son, because whether you like it or not, or wherever I am, I will always (discreetly and from a distance, I promise!) have your back.

Besides, a little birdie - with a medical degree - hints that although I may not be home when you go to school on Tuesday, I very may well be there when you return!

If I am I am and if not, well then life will continue and all will be well.

Take care and stay positive.

Opiate Disclaimer: As you know at this stage I am most definitely unwell, so all my recent posts are brought to you with difficulty (and take forever to do). All grammatical, spelling and syntax errors are brought to you courtesy of controlled medical substances and pain. This disclaimer is also being extended to comments I make on your blogs, or on any Social Media Forums, anywhere. Why? Because while controlled substances relieve pain they also seem to act as truth drugs, and definitely induce brain farts....  

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Accentuate the Positive.......

Although correctly spelled , as opposed to the original phonetic form, the words of this old Bing Crosby crooned classic, are words we should all try to live our lives by. Some days it's easy to appreciate the little things in life, while others it's simply impossible to even see the glorious sun gleaming in the perfect azure blue sky, right before our very eyes.

If you've been following my blog recently then you'll know it's been an especially difficult and painful few weeks. I should never have mentioned the 'shining light of hope...' offered by the first Nerve Block I received in a recent post , because ultimately it didn't work and the second Nerve Block.... well, the less said about that the better. I simply couldn't bear it.

So instead I've decided to eliminate the negative, by accentuating the positive and to share all the things for which I've been recently grateful for, or that have simply made me laugh! Be warned though, this could be quite a loonngg post!


Forget about visits to family members who suddenly find themselves hospitalised, there are far more important ways to show you care, you know.

Like the family member who, in the blink of an eye, brought my son home to be enveloped in the fun world of older cousins, man-caves and dogs who loved to bring said fourteen year old out wandering the local grounds! Sorry Aunty M, but you may have just landed yourself an annual visitor!! And then she sends him home with lovely flowers, just for me!

Then there are the other two family members who, on two separate occasions, responded to my 999-drop-everything-emergency call, direct from my hospital bed - 'EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY chocolate and 7up supplies are dangerously low. RESTOCK.... I  repeat: RESTOCK....STAT... Move it, PEOPLE, MOVE.... (okay I know, I watch waay too much Grey's Anatomy!)

There's also my other lovely family member who, not only ensured that my mother was visited on my behalf, but on two occasions brought her similarly aged son over to hang out with mine so that my husband could go to work. And while she was there, on her off work days, she secretly morphed into a cleaning fairy and did some discreet tidying up too, hoping her efforts would remain hidden. Sorry cuz, you're busted!  

Even the older generation got into the act and my fourteen year old boy got to spend some quality time with his eighty-two year old Granddad... and his canine companion. Precious moments that may not oft be repeated.

It is wonderful to have family to turn to, even though they don't all live nearby, at such unexpected times of need and I thank you all. I also thank a kindly neighbour, who is practically family, for all her help too.

And of course I cannot forget my two 'boys' left at home holding the fort, supporting me and amusing me in their own unique and hilarious ways!


We all have such very busy lives so I gave the same edict to friends as I gave to family: visits are not expected, only if you happen to be in the area. Instead I suggested how lovely the odd text or phone call would be. Admittedly I didn't realise how long I'd be in hospital when I issued this edict but I have been spoiled with daily texts and phone calls! Sure I don't have time for visitors, I'm far too busy making and answering texts and phone calls, and ensuring that my extremely temperamental iPhone is fully charged at all times to cope with the demand!!

Now, I do have to point out that there are friends and then there are true friends. The latter are the type of friends who will readily agree to your every demand - you are in hospital in extreme pain after all - and the lengths they will go to ensure that you get just a teeny bit of happiness into your bed-ridden days is unbelievable. I mean, they just simply mention in passing that they're looking forward to a glass of wine that night and all I have to ask is that when they they're done, that they have just one more glass, just for me as I can't have any. And just like that, with no twisting of arms or promises of handing over any future lotto winnings, and they readily agree! And not only that, they promise faithfully that whomever else they're sharing this companionable night cap with will do likewise!

Sure I'm getting sozzled most nights, with ne'er a drop passing my lips!! 


Now, this new flying kite friend of mine causes quite a stir, and noise too of a breezy evening it must be said. He is quite the celebrity and flies right outside my room every day. He soars through the skies with the greatest of ease, with flights of fancy, swoops of delight and all sorts of tricks - just for me! But it would be rude to keep him all to myself so I invite all inquisitive passersby to 'come on in and have a proper look!' It's quite hilarious!

He has no name yet though, any ideas?!


As I've said family and friends have been, and continue to be, amazing but I especially appreciate the many comments, personal messages and interactions - some in response to my updates/tweets and some completely unprompted - that I have received on these online forums. I am totally overwhelmed and appreciative. Some of you I have known for a few years but have never met you, yet you take time out of your day to contact me to see how I am, or to offer to deliver me chocolate in my hour of need! Me, a relative stranger! Thank you. And thank you to the very special friend, you know who you are, who even loaned me his tablet - technological tablet people, not medical. Jeez!

Facebook and Twitter aren't for everyone, in fact some don't get it all and never will. I understand that. Personally I have been supported, entertained and quite simply laughed my head off in the past few weeks but maybe you have not been quite as enamoured by my online engagement? If that's you then just remember that Facebook and twitter are a bit like TV - you can always just 'switch station' - i.e. mute or block me. I won't be in the least offended! Sure I probably won't even notice, I'll be off in the corner giggling too much at some comment or other!

But you should also remember that facebook and twitter are also a bit like Vegas.... what's said on facebook/twitter STAYS on facebook/twitter! And it most certainly does not get repeated to those who are not on it and 'don't get it' !! 
Got it? Good ;-)


First off I have to say that the general nursing, caring, kitchen staff, Doctors etc here are so lovely and caring. There have been things that I haven't been happy about but I am always listened to.
I am extremely lucky to be in hospital and will be forever grateful that this hospital - yes it's Private so I am also eternally grateful for Health Insurance - accepted me into their care. The comparative  'care' offered by the public A&E had such dangerous consequences it's worryingly scary. But this is a positive post so just look at these desserts!! How could anyone not even feel slightly happy on a bad day seeing such delights as this coming their way each day....


This needs no explaining but this is what I can look out out at everyday.
Except, I do have to give a special mention to the loveliest hospital porter that has ever graced the grounds of a hospital, ever. The one who kindly surprised me one day, when wheeling me back from some x-ray or some treatment or other - who the hell can remember at this stage- by going straight past my room and taking me to the nearby glass enclosed stairwell, to just sit there awhile and admire this Sandymount Beach panorama.....


 1) This was admittedly in my pre-painful, hospital-pallor era - only just now, in all fairness - when I was recently getting a facial and the nicest beautician in the whole wide world very kindly told me that I had 'young skin'! I might  just type that into a pretty picture and hang it up. Everywhere!

2) Then there was the very kind female radiologist who was setting me up for a chest x-ray last week and asked the usual question she's obliged to ask..... 'are you wearing a bra, dear', when I responded in the negative she replied: 'wow, I wouldn't have guessed.... it's a compliment that I even had to ask'! Well, I guess as a woman in my fifties it is good to know that not everything is heading as far southwards as I may have thought! And you have to admit, it certainly beats being asked, yet again, if there's any chance you're pregnant or when was your last period!!

But this is the winner....

3) My kindly consultant when trying to re-assure me the other day, that my liver ultrasound reveals that everything is returning to normal after recent med changes. 'really, you have nothing to worry about..... you have a lovely liver'!!!!!

Well, there's really nothing else I can add to that, is there?!

Except - and I really can't resist this - 'My Lovely Liver': a potential Eurovision Winner??!!

Opiate Disclaimer: As you know at this stage I am most definitely unwell, so all my recent posts are brought to you with difficulty (and take forever to do). All grammatical, spelling and syntax errors are brought to you courtesy of controlled medical substances and pain. This disclaimer is also being extended to comments I make on your blogs, or on any Social Media Forums, anywhere. Why? Because while controlled substances relieve pain they also seem to act as truth drugs, and definitely induce brain farts....  

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Stay With Me A While....

It's two am and once more I finally wake through my drug-induced hallucinations to realise that yes, I am in that horrible and seemingly endless painful section of my night, yet again.

I really don't want to be, I told them that. I dread it so much. I warned them that if I have to wait for two more sleeps to get the repeat procedure that I desperately need, then I could not and would not endure two more nights of this horrendous pain.

They changed my medications and yet here I am, same time, same place. Same struggling to wake though the mad dreams to face the actual reality. The same moans as I once more press the bell that brings the lovely nurse, to whom I apologise yet again, with her magic knock-me-out-pills rushing to my bedside.

The same moans and groans as I gobble down those pills and moan my way through the pain. I even struggle on crutches, moaning all the way to the bathroom, hoping that the movement will help.

I am vaguely aware of the stunning street light show of Dublin and Sandymount Beach that spreads out just beyond my window.

But I am way too moany to appreciate it.

As I moan I thank the lucky stars of the person who does not have to share a room with me and hope, for their sake, that a shared room does not become available. For they will never survive me.

I am way too moany on these horrible nights and I want them to end. I want it all to end. All this horrible pain.

And now all of a sudden it seems that I've just blogged my way right through my pain tonight and with the help of some magical Oxynorm, and your wonderful company, I very well might now sleep a while. To awake a few hours hence, in a far better frame of mind to appreciate the stunning views laid out before me. 

One more sleep to the treatment that might bring some long term relief. 

Same time, same place tomorrow then?

Bring some positivity, I sometimes misplace mine.

Many thanks, your company is always appreciated. 

Opiate Disclaimer: this post is written under the influence of extreme pain. Any spelling errors, bad grammar and syntax are purely the cause of  said pain and opiates!